the four right chords can make me cry

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:02:00 +0000

so long, cyberspace.
i'm off to pursue my alter ego.

love,
ใจเย็น

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 15:54:00 +0000

I really really really want to watch taxidermia which ends its run on thursday.
But I'm having problems because:
1) its the exams and no one wants to go with me
2) the film sounds really dark and grotesque and plain weird, and not many people would want to subject themselves to it
3) it's so gross that even I might not want to watch it if I have to watch it alone

oh well. If no one responds, then I will just have to work up the guts to watch it by myself then.

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 14:49:00 +0000

daddy on biodiversity

dd: I wish they would at least name a turtle after me. I would be very happy.
b: a butt-ugly turtle?
dd: The uglier the better!

daddy on the never-ending battle with the forces of entropy (aka housework)

dd: after you finish ironing, can you go bathe the dog?
b: I was going to, but now that you've asked me to do it; I dowan.
dd: then I reverse the spell: don't bathe the dog ok?

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 04:37:00 +0000

Life science jokes just aren't funny.

daniel
SDS? u? u need help with a date?

becky, time to SDS.
thats sdu lah!!!
SDS stands for sodium dodecyl sulphate
hahaha
or sit down n study

daniel
its SDS for grads now
sdu non grads
yah do u need sodium dodecyl sulphate

becky, time to SDS.
haha really ah
i didnt know that

daniel
oops its the reverse sds for no grads and sdu for grads
my bad

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 13:39:00 +0000

I spent the whole day complaining to pam that the last day of undergrad life was so un-special.
But now, after a really fun time at end of sem gathering, I feel so so empty.
Perhaps its just being at home. I have come to really dislike being home, save for the company of my dog.
No one is home, I don't know why my mum insists I come home to an empty house.
Not even my house, for much longer.

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 15:38:00 +0000

I've been wearing the bracelet k gave me since poster yesterday.

In the email, which gmail tells me was sent 5 hours ago, about lunchtime in portugal, she said:

"Tried a spell at opening for lunch but gave up yesterday which now gives me more time to write to my favourite niece."

Yay, I'm so happy to be someone's favourite anything!

"Keep your chin up and stay positive. It's all happening now."

ok, I shall!

The Flaming Lips - The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:34:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 20:44:00 +0000

4 year 4 friends awake at 4am.

Whee~

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 20:11:00 +0000

Darn scientists.

MAPK: Mitogen-Activated Protein Kinase
MAPKK: Mitogen-Activated Protein Kinase Kinase
MAPKKK: Mitogen-Activated Protein Kinase Kinase Kinase
MAPKAPK: MAPK-Activated Protein Kinase

Argh
Arghargh
Argharghargh
sigh.

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:50:00 +0000

After weeks on end of staring at my double-spaced thesis.doc for a few hours each day,

single-spaced just looks wrong.

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:43:00 +0000

On dentists on Sundays.

while my guitar gently weeps.
hahahha
wah, quite hard to fix your own teeth i think

Fadzli - "the man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away"
painful, inaccurate, but i do believe possible
if u were like the last person on heart
earth i mean
gosh mind not thinking straight

while my guitar gently weeps.
earth--> hearth--> heart
tadah!
in DNA terms
this is called translocation

Fadzli - "the man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away"
gosh dun get me started

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 14:08:00 +0000

I once complained.

But in truth, I still love potatoes, in all their fantastic forms.

Think of it, chicken curry with no potatoes! How flat our curry puffs would be!

Did you know that 2008 is the year of the potato?

Happy IYP!
(international year of the potato)

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:56:00 +0000

There was something poetic in the pathos of the trickle of water; glinting and gurgling in the moonlit drain. Ah, sewage and modern living.

The neighbourhood was so still. Cars, immovable and obdurate along their pavements, not sleeping but static, part of the landscape since time immemorial. Leached of the sharp saturation of the day, indistinct and grey forms merged into the dark. Every thing loses its boundaries at 2am.

In contrast (contrast), I considered the perfect white marble that has journeyed far to see me. Every minute detail thrown into sharp relief. Harsh lights and nakedness, the scrutiny. Tomorrow, I resolved, we would meet.

I've spent a lot of time alone this week, explaining the particularly assertive inner life spilling into this post today. I only realise how quiet it has been at 4:30am, because the birds start calling. The more still the environment, the more chaotic my internal milieu.

In not so many words, this post is about stillness. And solitude.

Actually no lah, no need so chim.

Basically, my tuition kids canceled on me at the last minute and I decided to go to the museum instead only to realise that I have no friends whom I feel I can impose my self on at this last minute and drag into the museum.

But wasn't the long version nicer?

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:51:00 +0000

talking to my brother

b:
i saw this guy wearing a shirt that said
"i'm not a geek
I'm a level 12 palladin"

skin d:
i'm a level 19 palladin.

b:
what does that mean?

skin d:
means he is a geek.

-------------------

b:
your hair is funny.

skin d:
your hair is ugly.

b:
no, pretty.

skin d:
pretty ugly.
it's uglier than russie's butt.
and that's pretty ugly.

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 17:12:00 +0000

becks.
i'm distracted too
i dont want to do my thesis~ WHINEWHINEWHINE

Wei Min™　テオ。ウェイミン
lol
u suck at whining

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 19:37:00 +0000

if you love me/are my friend/are readings this
you will hunt this down for me:

the rhine river tapes

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 14:42:00 +0000

so, my microwave caught fire.

sigh.

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:39:00 +0000

I emailed k at last today. My bad, I never reply on time. And it's ironic, considering how bad their internet access is over there. It was almost a year ago now, but it feels like a lifetime away.

So tenuous, these ties that link people together. I'm so thankful for each and every person in my life (ok, almost every person, if i'm honest).

And yesterday, like I was telling josh, I met so many people, it really made my day. From secondary school junior (who remembers my name, but whose name I can't remember) and weichin at the pool, to weimin's sister, to darryl, to mark, to nick, to chels, to phoebe, to weiying, to dom at the bus stop (we missed 5 buses together), to grace in lecture, to birthday girl sien and the whole of wednesday CG, to sk and even ying kit and boredin.

and there's fadz and veron to meet for lunch now! yay =)

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 18:54:00 +0000

KT answering his own questions:

"you all are final year students right?
have you heard of the journal PNAS?
is it a good journal?
it's a bloody good journal, ok?"

And that was our introduction to SP, whom proceeded to better KT by calling all the bacteria "bastards" and saying f**k.

He said it again when I went over to biopolis to talk to him today. Less than prof-like language aside, he seemed to have my interests at heart and told me to first of all, consider my own future and career. Because essentially (as boss would say), doing a phd is like signing a slave contract. Those were his exact words.

He seemed to be sizing me up at the same time, I felt it in his gaze. Would this student survive? He said he was excited about the project and would wait to hear from me. I wonder what that means; have I really passed his assessment or is that something they say just to be nice?

As you can see, I am cautiously optimistic. The offer is more than seductive, a chance that I'll be spending at least two years in KI in Sweden. KI, that's the place that gives out the Nobel prize! And he really bent over backwards to offer a phd "package", throwing in clinical work, neat setups, fancy equipment and other promises.

Let me just say that now is the time to be a life science grad student. Department after department, prof after prof, they all seem so hungry for fresh meat. Funding is flush, opportunities abound. And dare I say, standards are low?

SP asked me what my background was, so I told him about my current project and my previous UROPS, and he was like, no no, what's your background? are you a chemistry, physics, engineering major...? You don't even need a life science background and they're already keen on you. He not once even got close to asking me about my CAP score; it clearly was not a concern. I got that impression from the open house that day too; come one, come all. 2nd lower? No problem! Just apply!

Since there are more opportunities than students who are taking them, I shall weigh my choices very carefully, since I'm almost at the luxury to pick and choose, even. I find it really weird, because I know I'm nowhere near the best student, and I know so many friends I judge to be better than myself who are unwilling to try to apply even. At the same time, lingering doubts over my own competency threaten to influence my decision-making process.

So yeah, today is Valentine's day. Happy one to all readers! I had a great day, surrounded by friends from the moment the day began till the very moment it ended. Met Fai, Pong and SK to go running, ending up at Fong Seng and only getting back at 2am. The run was great fun, the company was excellent. Had a nice lunch and a good conference the next day, followed by a trip to biopolis. Saw Grace and Tee on my way to a slack day in lab working on my report. Briefly hung out with the attached peoples of Thursday CG, sitting around wondering where all the non-attached people were on Valentine's day. Prayer at pgp today was really uplifting too. Felt we should have sang this song to close actually, but got too distracted by the prospect of bubble tea.

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turned His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen one
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Then we watched Dead Poets Society and a TED video, sailing into the 15th sharing thoughts and ideas with friends.

I really don't think I could have spent this day any better than I have done today. =)

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 13:17:00 +0000

Someday I will:
- anchor myself
- buy a vespa
- climb a mountain
- do a marathon
- enter the real world
- fly away from this place
- go to Africa
- have a house of my own
- invent a cure
- join my grandma in heaven
- knit something recognisable
- learn how to dance
- make a difference
- need to know
- obey completely
- publish in Nature
- question myself
- regret some things
- start a band
- tell you how I feel
- understand myself
- volunteer again
- write a book

not necessarily in that order.

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 18:05:00 +0000

Happy New Year

2005, you can tell what year it is by the length of my brother's hair.

2006, but my daddy is wearing the same shirt.

2007 I was in the UK

2008

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 16:48:00 +0000

Stop baby
Don't go
Stop here
Never stop living here
Till it eats
The heart
From your soul
Keeps down the
Sound of your
Silent sigh
Keeps down all
Move me down
Could we love
Each other?
No, don't
Love each other
Never gonna be the same

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 04:06:00 +0000

Cha-cha-cha!

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 06:03:00 +0000

Of course, what I had really wanted to say was, "I wish".

noreply@blogger.com (beckyboo) — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 15:34:00 +0000

apologies to Erlend and Erik

Everyday there's a girl in the mirror
Asking me, what are you doing here?
Finding all my previous motives
Growing increasingly unclear

I've traveled far and I burned all the bridges
I believed as soon as I hit land
All the other options held before me
Would wither in the light of my plan

So I lose some cells and my boss won't be happy
But there's only one thing on my mind
Searching boxes underneath the counter
On a chance that on a tape I find
A song for
Someone who needs somewhere
To long for

Homesick
Cause I no longer know
Where home is

In other words, I got the scholarship.